Attitude and Politics in Mauritius

I am writing this blog post, further to a recent experience that I have had during the week. The experience was disagreeable, and it took me a lot of time to accept and to understand the why and how behind what happened to me.

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A couple of days ago, I had an argument with a friend of mine, further to a series of useless disagreements, for which I was the only culprit. I had a lot of difficulties at first to accept whatever my friend proposed to me, and to be honest, I didn’t act positively. Instead of taking my time to accept what my friend recommended me, I was boiling deep inside myself, since I had the impression to have been violated in my own ideas, whereas in reality my friend had some reasons for disagreeing with me. Also, instead of reacting positively and constructively as per my friend’s choices, I let the negative attitude enveloping me, and I reacted by writing an email with a lot of rubbish and nonsense arguments where I explained to my friend why I disagreed with him and why I wanted to remain on my own position.

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My friend read my email and was very unhappy about what I wrote. He frankly told me that he didn’t appreciate my email at all and warned me that if I keep on having a negative attitude, I will retrieve myself with a lot of doors closed and people getting away from me. This is unfortunately the kind of reproach that I keep on having all the time from my husband even in my daily life, and unfortunately the bad example that I obtained from my parents during all my childhood. We always say that example comes from the top, don’t we? I was raised in a big house, with chauffeur, maids, gardeners and almost never experienced travelling by bus, except when I started university and when I started working and having my financial independence. Moreover, my parents unfortunately were always capricious, however it would be my mother or my father. They were proud, arrogant, megalomaniac and were sore losers each time they were wrong, since they never wanted to accept their faults nor their mistakes and always wanted to be right all the time. They were also of bad faith when they refused to face the reality of life or anything unexpected. Unfortunately, not only they were like that, but they also brought me up to become like that. That was why I never had friends at school and repulsing a lot of people around me for years, since I was adopting a very bad attitude wherever I was going, and even brought a lot of bad luck around me because of that bad attitude.

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Even after marriage, unfortunately I kept on having that bad attitude, and it shut so many doors around me, starting with society and opportunities to have a social life and a good career. I always tended to be negative and to put all the wrongs on other people when they disagreed with me or were against me. I never understood how my husband, who was much more mature than me and wiser than me, could remain silent and indifferent when there were some people barking against him, however it could be at work, in society, in his family background or anywhere else. For my part, I admit I am still the one who talks louder, who barks louder than my adversary, who always wants to be right and who always fights with a lot of sound instead of being a silent warrior. I admit that when it comes on attitude, I still need a lot to learn about it and to work extremely hard when it comes on having a good attitude.

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However, just after my friend put me back in the right place, it was as if I received an electroshock on me, and I suddenly realized that I was completely wrong and that I have talked a lot of rubbish for nothing, and that all that mess could have been avoided if, instead of barking my frustration in that email, I either asked my friend questions if I doubted about something I don’t understand, or take more time to calm down and to find out the answers to the unasked questions that were floating in my mind regarding my friend’s opinion. Only God knows the numerous times that I approached my friend, either by email or on WhatsApp to apologize, to recognize the mistake of my words and especially of my thoughts and to agree with what he proposed to me. I am feeling very bad that I realized my mistake unfortunately too late and that I let the shot going. Unfortunately, this is in that kind of school that I have been raised because of my parents and I passively repeated the same bad attitude in my new family each time that I disagree with my husband especially when I am wrong! Even my young son disagrees with me and always begs me to stop creating so much havoc in the house, since he cannot stand the both of us fighting uselessly, and he is right.

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Like I mentioned as a comment of a video published by a local celebrity of my country, there is no age to be a good leader. These were only words, but unfortunately I was unable to put those same words in practice when it came about my own life. When I think about the way I was raised by my parents, I came on a conclusion that is unfortunately true: Example doesn’t always come from the top, sometimes it should also come from the bottom. The top represents our elders and all the ones who are still governing the country, whereas the bottom represents the Mauritian youth of today and of tomorrow. I still remember a quote that someone wrote on all his social platforms where he mentioned “Behave yourselves, Politicians. The Youth are watching”. If the governance is good, definitely the society will be good, but if the governance is bad, the society will be bad. There will be so many blind followers who will passively have the same negative attitude as their governors, and very few will have the courage and the guts to rebel and show their rights to fight against the governors’ mistakes, under pain of masquerading as the bad ones. And if the government will act as dictators towards its people, in case one of its people dares acting against the government, instead of being considered as a hero, he or she will be the biggest villain for the government, which won’t hesitate to blacken their opponent’s bravery for naming and shaming their bad actions. All this, because those who are on the top show a very negative attitude towards their people, and also in such circumstances, their will be a few courageous souls who will have the courage to dispatch themselves from the government’s oppression on them and create their own journey to positive attitude to inspire other people.

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When I left Mauritius for a new life overseas, unfortunately I didn’t leave Mauritius with a positive image of the country. My husband and I returned from Madagascar after we spent more than 4 years of expatriation there, and we have been staying back in Mauritius for more than 3 years, which gave us the time to have a child and to have our new house. However, during that period, it was incredible how the mores in Mauritius degraded so much, despite the economic boom in the country! Each time that we were opening the newspapers, there were only murders, crimes, sexual assaults, drug deals, corruption, social insecurity, poverty, etc. These were things that I never experienced before when I was still residing in Mauritius before marriage. During that period, Mauritius was a true paradise where it was so good to live and where every citizen was feeling at home. There was respect for elders, safety everywhere, family spirit, good neighborhood and socialization, good mores, economic boom, education for everyone and especially simplicity of life. But all those good things existed under a good governance, which unfortunately degraded through the years and through changes of governance, including at its head so many members with controversial historical facts, which were published in our local newspapers, and which unfortunately inspired the Mauritians, especially the young generation, to follow that sad example they were showing, or to passively remain the silent and hopeless spectators of those controversial people’s destructive and shameful actions.

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In a more private environment, out of politics, example also is shown by our elders, by our bosses in the company we work for, by our teachers who educate our children, by the religious representatives who proclaim the Holy Word as per the religion they preach, etc. If our elders are leading a bad life without good principles, how do they want their children to become good future family members and inculcate the good values to their children as soon as they will turn adults? If our teachers misbehave, abuse on the pupils and don’t teach our kids properly the good things of education, how will our children have their degrees and diplomas as their passports for university and for having either a good job or creating their own business?

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Also, does the example really come from the top? Cannot it come also from the bottom? It can come from the bottom, but what is sad is that very few people believe in the power of youth and always underestimate the youth as the ones who don’t know anything, whereas elders overestimate themselves because of their age and the experience that they had in their lives. Someone once told me that age was just a number, and that the true age doesn’t depend on the number of physical years that you have, nor on the number of experiences that life challenges you, but on the lessons that you learn from your experiences of the past, and which bring you more maturity and wisdom. More and more youngsters are already gaining into experience, especially for those who do their personal construction themselves, since they see a lot of things that our elders aren’t able to see and that people of bad faith refuse to see. So why don’t we trust our youth too? Don’t they have their words to say? Why then do we underestimate the fact that the truth comes from children’s mouths then? Do we think that because we are older than our children, we detain all the keys to knowledge?

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Based on today’s educational level, I am very happy to notice that more and more schools overseas are adopting the fact that each child is unique. For my part, I am very satisfied that my son has the privilege to be considered as a unique child according to the education he is receiving actually in his school, like it’s the case for other children. As someone also once told me, life is a celebration and not a competition. I wish one day, in Mauritius, all schools start adapting that attitude, since it’s incredible how in all government schools, in work environment and social mores, the competition spirit is so ferocious! And how other children and adults always want to copy on others just for competing and being better than them and due to pure jealousy. A friend once told me that jealousy and competition are from the minds of the fool, since unfortunately a lot of people refuse to understand that happiness doesn’t knock at everyone’s door at the same time, and doesn’t appear in front of everyone’s door in the same shape. I love a quote that a friend of mine once shared with me, saying “Happiness is like a butterfly: The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you start thinking about other things, it comes and softly sits upon your shoulder.” And the best key to happiness is to stop teaching competition and jealousy to our children when they are born, because they never take birth with that spirit, and shouldn’t let society influencing them to cultivate those two happiness and prosperity killers.

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ADHD… My daily struggle… My reason of fighting for success!

Hello everyone,

First of all I sincerely apologize for having been absent for such a long moment. I know that it’s been so many months that I haven’t written anything. And what is funny is that I didn’t lack inspiration at all. I had so many ideas, so many interesting subjects to develop and on which I had so much to write and to do researches about. I had discovered so many interesting articles through all my social platforms, through my husband’s Facebook account and through Internet research. I also had a lot of constructive conversations with some of my regular pals and relatives on which I wanted to get inspired to write things. I also found inspiration through some interesting personalities I have had the opportunity to discover via the web and via my social platforms. However, as crazy as it could sound, I haven’t written at all for months. It had nothing to do with the fact that I had a lot of responsibilities to achieve with my family, such as my son’s welfare and education, his scholarship, the time I have to spend with the house chores, cooking and with my family, the holiday plannings we had to go through during my son’s summer holidays, etc. I could very well, in a normal situation, afford all those situations perfectly and find time for myself to keep on completing my blog. But it wasn’t, and to be honest, it’s still not being the case. A couple of weeks later I came to discover that something was wrong with me and that it was time for me to reveal today the dark secret that represents a dangerous boundary to my writing skills and my capacities of using my personal skills, as well for my writing as for my daily responsibilities. And what is crazy is that I didn’t even need to look for a specialist to proceed with an assessment about my actual situation. Some online assessments were more than enough to reveal that dark secret of my personality. I hesitated a lot about revealing it publicly for a very long time. But this morning I had the courage to break the bundles and that heavy silence to reveal it once for all, because I have passed through very tough moments of mental breakdowns and even felt very depressive at times because of that. I also decided today to reveal it openly, because I came to understand that this could be an explanation to my actual situation, and I decided through my projects not to make of it anymore an excuse for letting it go, but as a challenge for myself to recover and to prove to myself and to the whole world that I am stronger than I think and that I can destroy that dark secret since I already have the necessary weapons with me to destroy it. That dark secret is that I suffer from a mental disorder, which I came to discover unfortunately very late in my life, but which started developing through my first years between the middle of my teenage years and the beginning of my adulthood years when I left secondary school, and on which I took conscience of its existence too late and only a couple of months ago: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, shortly known as ADHD.

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I downloaded an application on my mobile from Google Play, “Aware”, which contains a series of questionnaires about several types of mental disorders that medically exist. I answered to all of them, but what was crazy was that despite the results that I obtained in percentage, the explanations that I obtained through deeper researches didn’t match at all with the results I obtained, since I didn’t recognize myself in any of those mental disorders though I admit I had some symptoms of them. However, only the researches that I made on ADHD perfectly matched with my personal problem. To start, here is the first definition I obtained from that application on my mental situation: ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is a medical condition that affects how well someone can sit still, focus and pay attention. People with ADHD have differences in the parts of their brains that control attention and activity. This means that they may have trouble focusing on some tasks and subjects.

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ADHD was and still is unfortunately the cause behind a series of so many fights that I have had with my husband because of my indiscipline behavior which is actually endangering my marital life and even the example that I am giving to our own child, who is actually suffering with Autism Spectrum Disorder. All started on a specific evening, during which I had a big fight with my husband because we came back home very late from the swimming pool, my son and me, and my husband was very angry at me for not having properly managed the time that I would let my son going to the swimming pool. I tried to keep calm and to reassure him that I was sorry and that I would be more careful next time, whereas in the contrary, I am used to scream a lot and to create a lot of havoc each time that my husband disagrees with me, whether he may be right or wrong. Instead of calming down, my husband continued again and again making moral lessons to me, all this because according to him, he noticed that all the time I repeat that I will be careful, but afterwards, I do all the contrary and I don’t manage my time properly. Another thing on which I am extremely terrified with my husband is that I don’t know whether I should tell him yes and obey, or say no and walk as per my own way. If I say yes, I very often tend to do all the contrary of what he expects from me, because I say yes either because I am afraid of his reactions, or only so that my husband would leave me alone. And if I say no, instead of appreciating my honesty, my husband keeps on being angry after me, and because of that, I don’t know even what to do and I am feeling completely lost. This is what I told him on that famous evening, but he refused to understand, and at a moment, fearing a violent reaction from me again, he went out with our son until things would calm down, leaving me alone with my own thoughts.

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I was having dinner, but my mind was completely absent though I was physically there. I could hear a soft voice talking to me in my mind. That gentle voice sounded like a female voice, which was as kind, soft and sweet as an angel’s voice. This voice was reassuring me that, compared to 12 years ago when I just got married, I have made a lot of progresses in life, since I am now able to manage the household, the house chores, my involvement into my child’s education including his extra activities and socialization, cooking good food, writing lots of strong material, cultivating myself etc. However, that voice confirmed that there was a big mental disorder within me and that I had to urgently follow a therapy, because it was a disorder which was unfortunately disturbing a lot of things within me and badly disturbing the marital relationship I cultivate with my husband since 12 years and with my child since 6 years.

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A couple of years ago, when I still had a Facebook account, there was a Moroccan pal on my Facebook list who mentioned to me that she was suffering with ADHD. I didn’t really pay attention to her disease and thought that it didn’t concern me. But when I did some researches about that disorder, even though I started having some doubts a couple of months ago that I could be concerned about ADHD too, almost all the symptoms which were described in that disorder confirmed exactly what I feared… And yes, the results of my researches proved them all: I have ADHD and at a quite high level as it covers almost all the symptoms that I actually am suffering from!

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When my husband and my son came home, I burst in tears and I mentioned to them the nature of my problem, which was something that I suspected suffering from since a couple of months, but for which I didn’t really pay attention. Either I didn’t want to accept that I had the problem, or I accepted that I had the problem but I feared any negative reaction from my husband, especially misunderstanding. And effectively, my husband refused to believe me and I begged him to pay attention to the symptoms, through some articles that I have shared with him, and which I hope he will find time to read during his day. Today unfortunately, my husband still ignores the symptoms since he didn’t have time to consult the articles that I shared with him, and which make that I need to talk about my symptoms with him myself. However he believes in me now that he knows that I am really suffering but unfortunately he cannot do anything for me. The trouble also is that here, the treatments are very expensive and are not covered by the insurance, which makes that I need to deal with it on my own.

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Here are the difficulties I face everyday and which represent signs that I have ADHD, and which are within my personality:

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Follow directions: I agree because I have a very weak sense of orientation wherever I go and I get easily lost, especially in big spaces like big shopping malls. One day in South Africa, while I was on holidays with my folks and my husband, and some other days in shopping malls here, I got lost since I don’t have the sense of orientation. But the latest episode was the worst one! On that day I was mentally very down after my husband and I got extremely angry against our young son, who misbehaved a lot on that day at the shopping mall. We stopped at a cafe for a hot drink before going back to our car with our shopping bags, but at a moment my husband asked my son to come with him until I would finish my hot drink. I saw them going away, but I cannot understand what could have happened in my mind on that day, since I didn’t even pay attention wherever they were going. I was no more sure if they were going to the parking or somewhere else and I retrieved myself in a big moment of confusion and total loss. The worst was that I didn’t have any communication facility with me since my mobile battery was completely down, as I forgot to recharge it before leaving the house. At a moment my husband and my son were totally out of sight and the first thing that came out of my mind was that maybe they were on their way to the parking. As we always park our car to the same location all the time, I could easily find my way to the car. But at my biggest surprise, they were not there and then I started to panic heavily! I came back on my footsteps and begged a staff from a furniture shop to lend me his mobile number since I needed to call my husband in emergency. He dialed my husband’s number and then I could contact him. By coincidence my husband also was panicking since he didn’t find me, and asked me with a panicking voice where I was. Then when I explained him my location he asked me not to move from my actual location and to wait for him. Then, when he got closer he called me back on the gentleman’s mobile number and then I joined him. We were all reassured to retrieve each other and I explained him in which state of mind I was and how my son’s misbehavior stressed me to the core.

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Remember information: Yes, so many times I forget a lot of essential things, and I must always note them down to remember them properly. I noticed that when I make a planning such as the list of stuffs to buy at the groceries, or the dates I menstruated or forgot to take some pills, etc, I feel better organized than when I use only my head. But I tend to plan things only on specific days or for specific events or lists to do only and it really works. But when it comes on ordinary routine days I never feel the motivation to do it and it unfortunately plays against me.

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Concentrate: Yes I easily get distracted and face huge problems of concentration, however it may be in my chores and daily do’s, or with music. I can be easily distracted when I hear again and again my favorite song or watch my favorite movie or serial on laptop or TV, and also it’s dangerous since I don’t care whether there is my son waiting for me or, even though it almost didn’t happen in the past, forgetting something being cooked on the oven! I also get very easily distracted when I see babies in front of me.

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Organize tasks: Yes I am extremely disorganized, I admit it. I include too many “dead times” in my agenda because I don’t know why, but I LOVE wasting time with social networking, with doing researches on the internet, with reading and writing, which represent a passion for me that I cannot help but cultivating. It became a drug for me since it’s my biggest refuge where I forget all my problems and overcome all my sorrows much better, including when I write constructive emails with my best friend, who is a British French author, writer, traveler and coach whom I acknowledged on LinkedIn. Also, my house chores, looking after my son, cooking food, all the tasks that any responsible housewife and mother should do, turns now into a nightmare for me, because I don’t want to do those chores and want to be totally free! Yes I know it sounds weird, but this is the impression I always had.

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Finish work on time: Yes I have difficulties finishing work on time, for the same reasons regarding concentration and organization problems that I face everyday, and I very often tend to finish all my tasks at the last minute before my husband comes home or before I go out with my son to the shopping mall or to the swimming pool. When I finish my tasks early, I feel strange because this is not me, and when I finish my task late, I feel stressed and guilty, because in reality, I don’t do my daily chores with pleasure, but rather with fear of facing an avalanche of reproaches and sarcastic remarks from my husband, who is straight-minded, down to earth and extremely well organized, all the contrary of me who is messy, forgetful and dreamy…
The article that I found also lists a series of challenges that I have to face with Adult ADHD:

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Anxiety: Yes, I am all the time anxious, because my anxiety mostly refers to all the traumatic experiences I have been having with my family, in-laws, in my marriage, in society, in the work environment and with a lot of fake friends who abused of me.

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Chronic boredom: Yes I admit it, I get bored very easily when I see that I face situations which are starting to become repetitive too often. I am actually bored because all my days are all the same with the chores, cooking, visiting the same places, travelling in the same countries all the time between Mauritius and France because of my husband’s family, meeting all the time the same people, etc. I have right now within me that anger for constant change and for discovering new things and that is why I am bored in life.

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Chronic lateness and forgetfulness: This confirms exactly the same problem I mentioned previously regarding my problems of concentration, organization and having my tasks finished on time. I always have the temptation about finishing everything at the very last hour and at the end I feel unsatisfied for having lost so much time uselessly, thinking that the next day it would be better. Unfortunately it restarts again and again and I don’t know what to do.

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Depression: Yes. I have faced very severe depression, especially in 2003 when I had faced a very bad working experience with one of my ex-bosses who was an asshole. I faced the same problem in 2007 further to a huge fight between my parents and my in-laws, and which still remains unsolved and forced me to cut total contact with my parents, even though my parents had unfortunately a part of right which I had to accept within the time. I also faced the same problem in 2011 after the birth of my unique child, since I have been suffering from post natal depression and have been raising my child in a very insane environment at my in-laws place, where I was all the time bullied and mistreated by all my in-laws and by even my husband and some of our closest friends who unfortunately gave me up in those moments where I needed them the most.

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Trouble concentrating while reading: Yes so many times it happened to me, especially if my mind was elsewhere than with my book reading or while I am writing, for example in situations where my son was with me and that I had to have an eye on him, for example at the swimming pool or at the playroom in the shopping mall.

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Trouble controlling anger: It started especially in 2014 while I was still in Seychelles, since I started breaking years and years of silent suffering caused by the brutal separation between my parents and my in-laws, the injustice that I had to face because of that separation, the bullying I faced with my in-laws because of my parents, the discrimination they were doing by starting to favor my sister-in-law and rejecting me because of my parents, finding my sister-in-law the perfect daughter-in-law of the family and me the incomplete one, dis-balance in my marriage life since we came back from the peaceful life we were living in Madagascar and retrieved ourselves into a huge tornado when we came back to Mauritius further to the socio political crisis of 2009 with problems of re-adaptation, family pressure from both sides since I was not talking to my mother anymore, over-pressure from my in-laws who were extremely exigent with me since I had no experience as a housewife, medical treatments I was following to be pregnant and to fight against severe endometriosis to be able to infant, the trauma of the experience I had with my in-laws after my son was born, the numerous times that my in-laws interfered, and this I admit with my own consent since I was so stupid and naive during that period, between me and my son, depriving me of my right to be a mother, 8 changes of home, 3 changes of countries and culture, difficulties to cope with my son’s education, the big aggressiveness that started developing within me and which didn’t exist in the past in my temperament, where very often I lost my temper and started screaming like a wild animal when I was angry, until it traumatized my poor little son, and for crowning the whole story, my poor child starting to develop signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder and who was diagnosed when we arrived in our new homeland! But to be honest, I arrived at a point where I didn’t want to overcome my anger because I have been controlling my angers for a too long time. I still have that angry demon within me who wants to rebel and to push me destroying my enemies in the same way Hindu Goddess Kali does to destroy enmity. But little by little I am slowly learning that anger will never change anything apart making things worse and making me stooping lower.

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Problems at work: The trouble was that I had to start working when I came back to Mauritius. I never wanted to do any studies in the tertiary sector. I wanted to have full academic qualifications in Literature and creative writing. Unfortunately, after I finished the Brevet des Colleges in 1995, my level started degrading, and the biggest factor behind it was my mother, who was over-pressurizing me a lot in my home work and who was bullying and terrorizing me a lot, at such a point that I started loosing confidence within my own capacities and doubting a lot about myself because of her. When I finished the Brevet des Colleges, I started a new school year named Seconde Amenagee, which is a special program on 2 years for students facing school difficulties. As from that moment, I had the courage to tell my mother that I didn’t want her anymore to help me in my homework and that I will manage alone. Unfortunately, when I finished my Seconde Amenagee, I had choices only with doing a Baccalaureate Action et Communication Commerciale, or a Baccalaureat Comptabilite et Gestion, and I chose the second option. Unfortunately, when I started my Premiere, I had to repeat it again because I had difficulties with the Comptabilite et Gestion and started too late taking tuitions with a school teacher. But when I repeated the class, then I continued my tuition with her for the two forthcoming years and that was of great help for me, even though I only had the mention “Satisfactory” for my Baccalaureate. I continued also studying as I applied for a BTS Assistant de Gestion PME PMI in Mauritius, since I didn’t want to leave the country to go to France. I was scared to go to France, since my godmother, who was also my patriarchal half-sister, went to study medicine there, but was bullied so much by my matriarchal family who was living in France that she couldn’t survive the overpressure and she died at only 26 years old after having been graduated and after having been engaged to a French doctor there. Moreover, my mother was obsessed by having me married to a French guy since she was always obsessed with White people and fair skinned people, and God knows how I succeeded into resisting to all that pressure though very often I cried alone in my room and was extremely nervous and even turned anorexic. My marriage with my husband unfortunately didn’t arrange anything since my husband never matched with the kind of son-in-law my mother wanted to have in her life, as he didn’t satisfy her ego at all. And when I was in Madagascar, even though the Malagasy work environment was based mostly on the French curriculum, and though I could obtained my BTS though my average note for the final exam was 10 out of 20, which represented the big minimum I could obtain for obtaining my BTS, I had a lot of difficulties to assume my professional capacities, and my working competence was average in some sectors, and very poor and unproductive in some other sectors which I failed into understanding. Also I completely stopped working for that company though I was at home doing some administrative tasks for a friend, and I involved myself in Mauritius into a very dishonest chain of distribution for which I have lost a lot of money. My professional experience unfortunately was very unsuccessful even though my colleagues appreciated a lot my personality, and with a lot of retreat, I came to understand that I was never made for that kind of job, but that my job was much more for literature and creative writing. I am taking all my chances with me to restart everything from scratch, but it’s hard for me to do so with a child and a household under my responsibility and I fail into knowing how to manage my time and fight against ADHD.

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Impulsiveness: Same problem as for trouble controlling anger, since all the anger that I have been containing after so many years of silence is already emerging from me. But that image that I added attracted my attention for its subtitle “The good, the bad and the awesome”. How could impulsiveness be something good, bad and awesome at the same time? I was then referred to an article linked with that picture, where the author of that article related about an impulsiveness experience that he had lived. He judged impulsiveness as something “Good” first, since it’s a possibility for one individual to express enthusiasm when he or she has new ideas being structured. Impulsiveness can also be bad since it’s impossible to stick on the same things all the time when you work on a project or when you plan something for your own or with your loved ones. And this happened to me and is still happening to me so many times. The trouble with me is that I hate when plans made together change every 5 minutes and unexpectedly. This was exactly what happened each time that I planned to meet my best friend a couple of months ago in Paris, since my husband’s uncle and my son were constantly making us changing our plans, my uncle due to unexpected events which he tended to impose on our schedule, and my son due to his childish behaviour and requests. When it comes on such unexpected stuffs coming from other people I can feel extremely irritated and pissed off, since I hate last minute changes and always failed to deal with them calmly. But when it comes about unexpected changes coming directly from me, then I am more flexible and tolerant. Finally, as the author said, impulsiveness can be something awesome, and for this we have to make it awesome ourselves. In his article, the author gave some interesting advice based on his motto that he shared with us: we use the good, cut out the bad, and therefore make it awesome.

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Low tolerance for frustration: I never really knew what it meant until I saw the explanation above, but yes definitely, I am somebody very frustrated with my own life when I think about all the failures I accumulated, the big mistakes that I did in my life, the numerous times I failed into taking opportunities which were presented in front of me because I was afraid or couldn’t afford them, the numerous failures I faced with my insane parents, my insane family and with some of my in-laws, but which suddenly turned into a will for me to restart everything from scratch for better succeeding in life and being happy doing a career that I want to do and which would allow me finding a better balance in my life.

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Low self-esteem: Yes, for the same reasons as for low tolerance and frustration, and so many times I really hate myself for what I am, for having become what others want me to be and for not being what I really wanted to become. And yet, so many times I feel that I am awesome and wonderful, and so many times I tried to fall again in love with myself. But those moments never happened in reality but only in my imagination. I imagined myself in front of my mirror as a successful writer in prom dress receiving a prize for her best sellers. I very often imagined myself as a talented musician, since I always cultivated passion for percussion and violin, and dressed all in red, my favorite color. I imagined myself also as a rock singer in black leather boots and sexy mini dress, singing with a cymbal in my hand in front of so many of my loved ones. But when reality comes back into my mind, I feel completely different, stupid and ugly, though I know that I have so many skills to shine in my life. This low self-esteem unfortunately is a result from my tumultuous past because of my parents, who never saw the best in me, who always saw the ugly in me and who were narcissistic, egocentric sociopaths who raised me as a golden child and thanks to whom I always have the feeling of being a huge failure for everyone, starting with myself and my little family. If you want to have a clue of what a golden child is, here is a picture below, and which proves that being a golden child is NOT a position to envy and that it’s a very difficult family educational disorder from which you can recover:

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Mood swings: Yes, I have very often mood swings, since I can be very happy and in a fraction of second I can turn to be like hell, or extremely peevish without any concrete reason.

Poor organization skills: Same thing as I said previously with problems of concentration and organization.

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Procrastination and self-harm: I do it since I am a child, by biting and breaking my nails and finger skin very regularly. But this is not all of it. I tend to waste a lot of time and always have the impression that all what I am doing is lasting for an eternity, including tasks that I can do only within 5 minutes. I also face stress disorder, because I always feel pressurized by my husband and still feel the effect of the over-pressure that I have passed through with my parents and even with my in-laws even though things changed drastically and improved by my side, and even though I live on my own with my husband and my son. I admit that I think about too many things at the same time and in a very disordered way, and that I often feel lack of energy for doing the most simple things in life. I admit that I have big trouble in focusing on the most important aspects of my life and for the welfare of my child. Finally, I admit that I very often face muscle tensions, especially at the shoulders during the massage sessions, and sometimes have headache. I admit that I cover all those ADHD symptoms regarding procastination, such as Daydreaming since I love dreaming a lot and have a huge sense of imagination as an aspiring writer to be. I accept that I very often tend to forget or to loose things without even realizing it when it comes on loosing things. It recently happened since I never retrieved a book bag belonging to my son, which made that I had to pay a penalty with the school library, since the book bag contained two library books that my son borrowed from there. It also happened that a new pink shirt that my husband bought in shopping mall a couple of months ago after our settlement in my new homeland, and which I never washed before, completely disappeared without me realizing it. Yes I admit that I make a lot of careless mistakes or take unsafe risks. An example of taking unsafe risks is that I very often let my son pedaling his bicycle on the edge of the road even though there are cars coming and going, and even though I always have a close eye on him. Another example that I do careless mistakes is that I repetitively, and very often on purpose I admit it, never have the notion of time when I go out with my son, or that I always use the wrong cloth to clean the kitchen, since I take the cloth used to dry the dishes instead of a cleaning cloth! Squirming, I don’t know whether I used to squirm, but I very often talk alone and have flappy hands and fingers when I turn nervous. Fidgeting, however, happens to me very often with my hair or with my fingers. I also faced some symptoms of depression so many times, where I wanted to commit suicide or to die. It happened at so many moments of my life where I was deeply desperate with myself and wanted to put an end to my life to meet my deceased half-sister in another world… I even remember that one year after the big fight between my parents and my in-laws, I wanted to put an end in my life by jumping from upstairs when I arrived at my office, and my husband was unable to understand what was really happening to me. I very often also had appetite and weight loss, which turned into anorexia, especially when I was in Madagascar during a period I was deeply down after the fight between my parents and my in-laws, several years which followed my son’s birth while I was in Seychelles, during which my husband and I were having a lot of fights and that my in-laws were over-invading our house with their visits and caprices, especially my father in law and my husband’s uncle from Paris, who is a very possessive and emotionally vampire person, despite all the good qualities that he has shown such as a generous and hardworking person. Finally, even though I am convinced to have ADHD, I also have some symptoms related with OCD, mostly overthinking about bad memories from my past life experiences, which usually take a lot of time for me to forget and which affect me a lot physically and morally. For example, it took me 10 years to overcome the impossibility of the reconciliation between my parents and my in-laws, and I still have never overcome my very first heartbreak that I experimented at 16 years old, even though 20 years elapsed after it happened!

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Relationship problems: I have been lucky to have someone who is straight minded, down to earth, discipline and hardworking in life… Unfortunately I still feel there is a wall separating the both of us because there are too many differences between us which makes that there is no possibility to create a Just Middle between us to better hang up with each other. Because of that, I always have the feeling that I must always show a face of myself that my husband wants me to have and that I don’t feel free to be whatever I would like to be because my husband never accepted me the way I AM, but wanted me to be the way he and his family wanted me to be. I have also had too many breakups, because my choices never matched with my mother’s choices and I suffered from a very brutal breakup with my ex because he was widely influenced by his father since his father disliked my European style and the fact that I used to speak French, which was never tolerated in their family. After one month of breakup only that I decided to marry my actual husband.

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Substance abuse or addiction: Yes, I am extremely addicted with sugar that I put in my tea or coffee, because I was told by an ex-colleague that when you consume sweet things, it’s because you are sad and that you are desperately looking for a way to find re-comfort into sweetness. I dislike cigarette though, and only now started developing taste for alcohol, but yet I still control myself since on cigarette and alcohol, my father succeeded into never letting me involved in them, especially alcohol, maybe because he knows that my mother is alcoholic and that he cannot control her. I have also been addicted to Facebook at such a point that I was neglecting my family. I won’t say that my addiction stopped because I keep on borrowing my husband’s mobile to surf on his Facebook account as if it was mine, since we have some contacts in common and some interests in common which feature on his Facebook account. However, I am very addicted with Social Platforms, and even with Literature and Creative Writing. I am dying with curiosity for discovering new things of life and developing myself. And on that kind of addiction I don’t want to change.

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Low motivation: Yes, so many times, especially when I am stuck into a daily and boring routine in my life, like as I mentioned before. I am also fed up with the trips that we do because my husband always chose Mauritius and France as the only destinations where we traveled, whereas there are so many options and at cheaper prices that we could take. I complained about it with him so many times, but he just told me that his financial situation couldn’t allow him going in other destinations, but that as soon as his situation would improve we could visit something else. Personally I don’t believe him, because there are opportunities which are waiting for us. Maybe also it’s his lack of geographic knowledge which makes him talking like that, and for that I admit I need to help him since I have deeper geographic knowledge.

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PROBLEMS AT SCHOOL: I did very well at school when I was in Primary School but things started changing after I took part at the Brevet des Colleges. Even though I was doing well at school, unfortunately I was terrorized and over-pressurized by my mother, who never had faith in my capacities and who always underestimated me with her excessive discipline and obsession of making me over-passing myself. As I said before, even though I stopped having my mother with me, the fact that she over-pressurized me had some severe consequences on my concentration problems, not only for my studies, but even for the rest of my life. Unfortunately things got worse when I got married due to too much pressure from my husband and my in-laws, who are all extremely maniac when it comes on hygiene, discipline and hard work, since they still have the scars of the poverty in which they have been growing up, and from which they never recovered. And the fact that I come from a rich family unfortunately didn’t arrange things, despite all the efforts that I had to overdo to be accepted in the family and by my husband. The fact that I had to build a personality to please others instead of pleasing myself makes me extremely unhappy and uncomfortable. As well as I was raised as a golden child at home, in another hand I was severely bullied at school especially during my primary years and a part of my secondary years, because I was all the time quiet, lonely and never involved in anyone’s games. I was never dropped out from school nor university, but I interrupted my studies for my E-Commerce License since I was completely lost in most of the subjects and had no basics in computer science, and as I mentioned before, I repeated my Premiere and before that, I had to make a Seconde Amenagee which distanced me from my Baccalaureate orientation completely. I wanted to add also that I have unfortunately been bullied and discouraged by a pupil who never wanted me to do a Literary Baccalaureate, pretending that I would never know how to assimilate my languages properly! Another one once even mocked me when I said I wanted to do Action et Communication Commerciale or Comptabilite et Gestion, which both represented branches from the field Sciences et Technologies Tertiaires. I still remember the mocking that he did over me, and unfortunately his mocking brought negative fruits as I doubted a lot on myself and felt that I wasn’t made for that kind of job. I was always shy and lonely and had a lot of difficulties to make strong friendship bonds with the other pupils of the class who wanted to approach me. I was subject to so many fake rumors about me, that I was mentally delayed or disturbed, something like that. I never was dropped out from school, but I once escaped from school for meeting my boyfriend of that period, a guy whom my parents disagreed with and whom I had been having a secret relationship with for about 2 years, until I decided to put an end to it as it would never work between us.

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–  I admit that I changed jobs and had poor performance at work during the few times that I was working for other companies. But the most catastrophic working experience, which maybe is the cause I couldn’t cope with work environment anymore in addition of my average exam results, is the 2 month experience I had in the HR Department of a Printing and Packaging company, when I was working as a HR Assistant cum Secretary. After 2 months and so many fights and bullying from my dominating boss, I resigned with all my anger and did a very catastrophic signing with an ex colleague, and I was diagnosed anxiety depression by the doctor of the company. My HR Manager menaced me since I gave my complaint and resignation letter directly to the General Manager without passing by him, and two weeks later he replied to me in a very menacing and arrogant way to scare me… But Karma turned against him, since he was fired from the company further to a very serious professional mistake he was accused of. My working environment in Mauritius in general was horrible, mostly because of the Mauritian mentality, with which I couldn’t cope at all. Mine in Madagascar was rather good as long as it consisted into administrative tasks, but I was completely null in Logistics. When I completely left the working environment, then I realized that I wanted to become a writer.

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– As I don’t drive I never had speeding tickets, license suspended nor was involved in more crashes. However, it took me 7 temptations to get my driving license, and I didn’t obtain it with my own efforts, but instead I obtained it thanks to my ex-boyfriend, who bribed a policeman he knew very well to help me passing my license! But karma once more turned against me, because I didn’t deserve that license as it was obtained with bribe, even though my ex boyfriend did it with a good intention for me. Because of that bribe, God punished me and I cannot drive anymore. I don’t smoke cigarettes since I never could stood tobacco, I was never addicted to drugs, but I merely started drinking, and I am rather addicted with social networking on my mobile and with sugar. Yes, I have less money, and to be honest, I have no more money. I am completely ruined, since I spent a lot of money uselessly by buying all sorts of rubbish and getting memberships for all sort of online job platforms, within my desperate obsession for freedom and for preserving my dignity, an obsession that I still have within me as I don’t want to depend on my husband anymore financially. Finally I admit, that I really have a lot of psychological trouble as I got very often depressed and anxious, and I even had so many nightmares during my sleep.

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– There are a lot of other things on which I wrote so many things in the past as they affected me a lot, but I will never mention about them anymore, since I was wisely and toughly advised by some good and loyal people I have been lucky to meet in life to put a big cross on those chains of the past, not only because it was painful for me to keep those chains alive for myself, but also because it was very uncomfortable for my readers, my family and my surroundings to read so many crude things, since they could be fatal for me in the meaning that anyone could bully me in return for having had the courage of spreading the truth about them, and that it could also affect me and my family in the future. It was very hard for me to accept this, but I accepted removing all those blog posts since they could be fatal for me in the future and even attract a lot of hateful and disturbing opinions and comments on me, for which I admit I wouldn’t be strong enough to face nor to fight against. But only one thing though that I would like to share and that a friend of mine once told me: Your parents are your very first prints in your life. If they are good prints, you will grow up good, if they are bad prints, you will survive with those bad prints all your life. Unfortunately I belong to the second sad category of children and it’s very hard for me today to rise again as I still carry so many heavy scars in me. As I told my husband, you can have a loveable husband, many loyal friends or therapists who will advise you and help you rebuilding yourself, but they will never replace the essence of life that your parents are supposed to bring in you, and you will always feel incomplete because your parents never brought in you that essence of life. This is exactly what I am myself actually facing.

Unfortunately, since therapies here are expensive and not covered by insurance, and since there are lots of shadows from my past that I don’t want to unveil anymore and that I removed away from my blog forever, I prefer not following any therapies. The fact that I could break that silence already consists into a big therapy for me, and I hope that through my experience, I will be able to inspire other people suffering with ADHD like me to have the courage to express themselves. I also took a lot of time to understand one important thing, which is that ADHD can be an explanation in bad life management, but should not be an excuse. I hope that after I wrote all those words and confessions, I will be able to stand up again and to overcome that mental disorder bravely, even though I need to do it alone, and for which I don’t loose hope, though at times I can be morally down or fed up.

Facebook addiction: Who is the real culprit?

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This was the very first article that I am writing here on LinkedIn and that I am re-writing here on WordPress, and I am very pleased to paste you hereunder a post from one of my compatriots regarding some of my Mauritian compatriots and their addiction to Facebook:

Hello Mark Zuckerberg!

I took a suffering patient to the SSRN Hospital this evening. The security guy outside didn’t bother to give directions because he was busy on Facebook Messenger.

When I reached the “emergency entry”, a taxi driver had forgotten that he had parked there after dropping his passenger, because he was busy checking his Facebook newsfeed.

I went to the registration counter. I had to utter my phone number thrice because the lady’s attention was on her phone’s screen – that showed a man’s Facebook profile.

The doctor was liking photos on Facebook when I had to disturb him, unfortunately. The patient got admitted, and while carrying him to an allocated ward on a wheel-bed, [as they walked] both nurses were excited to be adding each other as Facebook Friends since they met each other after a long time.

And finally me…I had to take out my phone and write a Facebook post to you.

So Mark, did you make us any less slave than our ancestors?

Good night!

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Kudos to my compatriot who wrote that blog post anyway… And thank you Mark Zuckerberg for having addicted the Facebook drug to us. And cheers to all the humans who let themselves getting trapped into that drug so stupidly that they completely forgot the true meaning of socialization and of priorities in life! Because we cannot blame Mark Zuckerberg totally either. He created Facebook to become famous. But so many people misuse Facebook. They make of Facebook an addiction and even use it to publish all their life as an open story and even as a tool used for pornography and violence! And after this we are astonished that we have no more privacy when our privacy is in danger? We are astonished that our pictures are misused within the hands of hackers in the aim of ruining our lives?

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A couple of years ago a respectful young student was retrieved hung in her bedroom together with all her family members after they committed collective suicide! The reason? She had a PUBLIC Facebook profile and posted all her personal pics on it. Some hackers used her pics to create fake pornographic pictures of her on a fake profile with HER name and identity! She was NOT aware of that and so many naive people believed she was a REAL SLUT and her whole reputation at home, at school, in her family and in society got completely ruined! Was she to be blamed for having created a public Facebook profile innocently without expecting the bad consequences it would have had on her life? Or are those hackers to be blamed for having tricked her pictures and ruined her innocence and reputation? Unfortunately I couldn’t retrace the Facebook post revealing about that collective suicide, but I got the proof that such cases exist through that article from Hindustan Times, revealing the arrest of a hacker who victimized another girl in the same case and who pushed her to commit suicide since her reputation was completely ruined because of him.

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Another case we should talk about and which made me being disgusted with having a personal Facebook profile: 2 years ago an Indian girl made me revealing some shocking secrets, though she didn’t know me, about a celebrity I adored to the core! Of course as a blind follower of that celebrity I didn’t believe her and insulted her, and I thought the celebrity would have been clever enough to understand my concern about protecting him and his marital life since he was engaged. Instead of supporting me, he forced me and a couple of his fans whom I shared the story with to apologise to that Indian girl who pretended that her profile was hacked by her boyfriend and that he created that fake profile of hers misusing her pictures, contacts and personal details to create trouble between her and her contacts since he was jealous like hell and could never bear knowing she had male friends who were only fans of hers since she was also a celebrity in her locality. But the way she exposed so many precised details about those shocking revelations are TOO TRUE to consider that this girl was trapped by her boyfriend and it was evident she was lying and fooling everyone! Since now NO ONE gave me right for the good intention I had towards that celebrity and my name and reputation got suddenly blackened by all his followers and even by that celebrity HIMSELF! One day I will reveal you the complete story, which is still in draft mode but which I may publish very soon so that you would know better about the whole story. But to prove you that such cases exist, though they are rarer, I found that article to justify what I have just written, and what I have read in it was extremely shocking, and especially when I read the latest paragraph stipulating, I quote, that “The status updates are not offensive, they do not use foul language and can be deleted once you “Unhack your  Facebook.” Which rubbish is that? Didn’t they realize the foolishness of their action and how they could stupidly put some innocent lives in danger or facing big fear and trauma for nothing, and maybe for the rest of their lives by doing that? That is why there is a quote in French saying “Les plaisanteries les plus courtes sont les meilleures”, translated in English as “The shortest jokes are the best ones”. It’s true since as it starts becoming longer… it doesn’t become a joke anymore and it can really endanger your life!

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It’s easy to blame Mark Zuckerberg for having created Facebook! But we should especially first blame OURSELVES for being unable to use Facebook intelligently, responsibly and appropriately. I was myself a Facebook addicted person and I myself admit how I misused Facebook so cheaply in the past and how Facebook turned into a drug which completely ruined my life and got me away from my priorities and life responsibilities as a SPOUSE, a HOUSEWIFE, a MOTHER and a WRITER-TO-BE! I won’t be scared to share my story with you and with everyone if necessary as an ex Facebook addicted if necessary. I use other platforms regularly such as Google+, Instagram and LinkedIn but when I compare my daily experience with them this is NOTHING compared to my previous FACEBOOK experiences since I obtained TOUGH LIFE LESSONS from them and learned to impose my LIMITS and to respect them.

New Year Eve: Remembering its values through Ancient Times and a short Catholic tradition called St Sylvester Day

As most of you know it well, everybody celebrates the New Year Eve also known as the St Sylvester day. But has any of you tried to know the link between the New Year Eve and St Sylvester? Frankly speaking, it’s only now that I thought about it and decided to do some researches early on that morning of the 01st January.

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According to that article, “Little is known about Sylvester’s life. His tenure as pope took place during the reign of the Roman emperorConstantine I. Legend claims that Sylvester played an active role in the conversion of Constantine to Christianity, buthistorians reject this tale. As Pope Sylvester witnessed the divisions between Christians caused by the rise ofArianism, a doctrine concerning the nature of Christ, he sent two representatives to the Council of Nicea. Convenedby Emperor Constantine, the Council debated and rejected Arianism. His feast day was established in 1227 by PopeGregory IX. At least one writer has suggested that his feast day was placed on December 31 for symbolic reasons.Just as December 31 ushers in a new year, so, too, did the conversion of the emperor Constantine usher in a newepoch in the history of Christianity.

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But what should  be more interesting to know is about the New Year Eve History itself. In an article retracing the history of the New Year Eve, it’s a phenomenon which appeared 2000 years BC whereas the 01st January celebration appears only as a new phenomenon: “The celebration of the new year on January 1st is a relatively new phenomenon. The earliest recording of a new year celebration is believed to have been in Mesopotamia, c. 2000 B.C. and was celebrated around the time of the vernal equinox, in mid-March. A variety of other dates tied to the seasons were also used by various ancient cultures. The Egyptians, Phoenicians, and Persians began their new year with the fall equinox, and the Greeks celebrated it on the winter solstice

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There are several versions of the New Year celebration quoted in that article, but the most prominent one is about when Julius Caesar included the 01st January as the first day of the year. I was amazed to read that according to the ancient Roman Calendar before Julius Caesar’s decision, the years were made of only 10 months, starting as from the 01st of March. Then, as per that extract regarding the insertion of January the 01st, “In 46 B.C. Julius Caesar introduced a new, solar-based calendar that was a vast improvement on the ancient Roman calendar, which was a lunar system that had become wildly inaccurate over the years. The Julian calendar decreed that the new year would occur with January 1, and within the Roman world, January 1 became the consistently observed start of the new year.” The 01st January celebration though, was abolished during the Middle Ages, since it was being considered as a Pagan and Unchristian celebration, and the New Year celebration then coincided together with the birth of Jesus Christ on the 25th December. But little by little, the tradition was restored and adapted through the years as a celebration separated from Christmas, by the Gregorian Calendar.

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But now, another question that I am asking myself also while writing those words: Was New Year eve celebrated in Ancient times? The answer is a medley of Yes and No. Yes, it was celebrated in Ancient times, but not in the same way as we celebrate it today, with the traditional firecrackers, huge parties until late in the night at home, in restaurants or in the streets, good food, alcohol, etc. Here is an extract of this article showing what the celebration of the New Year represents in some of the Ancient times, especially in the Babylonian era: “The earliest recorded festivities in honor of a new year’s arrival date back some 4,000 years to ancient Babylon. For the Babylonians, the first new moon following the vernal equinox—the day in late March with an equal amount of sunlight and darkness—heralded the start of a new year. They marked the occasion with a massive religious festival called Akitu (derived from the Sumerian word for barley, which was cut in the spring) that involved a different ritual on each of its 11 days. In addition to the new year, Atiku celebrated the mythical victory of the Babylonian sky god Marduk over the evil sea goddess Tiamat and served an important political purpose: It was during this time that a new king was crowned or that the current ruler’s divine mandate was symbolically renewed.” And I have seen some pictures, while looking for an illustration for my blog post, revealing that the Akitu is still celebrated in some parts of the world as per demonstrated in that article.

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But in some other parts of the world, the New Year celebration was made in different ways, either for religious purposes or as a pagan celebration, at the example of Ancient Greece and Ancient Roman Times, which were two contrasting ways of celebrating the New Year. According to that article, “In Athens, however, there was an epigraph found reading of a religious ceremony that used to take place on the beginning of the New Year, or better said on the last day of the outgoing year, which involved only a small number of people. The celebration was a sacrifice of the outgoing officials to Zeus the Savior and Athena the Savior, which aimed at ensuring the blessings and favor of the two gods for the coming new year. It was not until ancient Roman times and while Rome grew in power, that the New Year festivities began to become extremely popular. The celebration known as the Saturnalia, a time of revelings, drinking bouts, orgies and human sacrifice in honor of god Saturn, was instituted as the festival of January 1st by Julius Caesar in 46BC upon deciding to adopt the Julian calendar. The popularity of the celebration was spread in all corners of the Roman Empire and continued with minor local and time alterations to integrate in the customs of all peoples within the Empire’s boundaries, including ancient Greece.

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Now, you will find strange why I am making a history of the New Year Eve among Ancient times with the way we are celebrating it, won’t you? Did you see the picture I have inserted above that paragraph in my blog post with that quote from Mark Twain, where you do the good resolutions and after one week, send them back to hell? The way I demonstrated the history of New Year during the Ancient Times is to show you that nowadays the humanity is celebrating the New Year mostly based on the Julian Calendar adapted by Julius Caesar, and also on the Ancient Roman Empire tradition made with revelations, orgies, human sacrifices to the God Saturn, etc. In Mauritius, the tradition of animal sacrifice to celebrate the New Year still exists in several Hindu Families, where on the 02nd January, they make an animal sacrifice as a yearly promise by killing a goat and after that, preparing the goat in some special meals. That tradition is more and more lost within the years according to my personal observations as an urban Mauritian, but is still practiced within rural Hindu families of the country, who kept their traditions in the total respect. The orgies, revelations, alcohol consumption in the Roman Era are also adapted not only in Mauritius but even worldwide in several parts of the world except in Muslim countries, where public alcohol consumption is forbidden. Unfortunately, what is sad is when you see how partying heavily for the New Year brings the population into some deceitful consequences: Lots of accidents in the streets mostly caused by huge alcohol consumption, crimes, fights between people partying during revelations made again under influence of alcohol, etc. Alcohol being the worst enemy for the New Year party, during which there are no limits imposed since it’s the very last day of the year.

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But the most prominent thought I had since the New Year Eve 2016 was about the importance of wishing Happy New Year. Why to wish Happy New Year? What is the need to make some new resolutions for the forthcoming new Year, for afterwards forgetting them and going back into our old bad habits? What is the need of wishing Happy New Year to everyone, including the ones whom you blame and dislike, or those who are your worst enemies, for after this starting again to blame them for the rest of the year? Personally, even though I wished Happy New Year to some of my in-laws, to my husband, to my son and to my LinkedIn, WhatsApp and Google+ contacts, personally I am very pessimistic when it comes on the importance of the New Year wishes, which I find personally useless and hypocrite, since they have no meaning. I was captivated by an extract of that article about the meaning of Happy New Year. The first paragraph from Albert Einstein captivated me the most: “When Albert Einstein’s good friend Michele Besso died in 1955, just a few weeks before Einstein’s own death, Einstein wrote a letter to Besso’s family in which he put forward a scientist’s consolation: “This is not important. For us who are convinced physicists, the distinction between past, present, and future is only an illusion, however persistent.” The idea that time is an illusion is an old one, predating any Times Square ball drop or champagne celebrations. It reaches back to the days of Heraclitus and Parmenides, pre-Socratic thinkers who are staples of introductory philosophy courses. Heraclitus argued that the primary feature of the universe is that it is always changing. Parmenides, foreshadowing Einstein, countered by suggesting that there was no such thing as change. Put into modern language, Parmenides believed the universe is the set of all moments at once. The entire history of the universe simply is.” Personally, despite being religious, I fully agree with that Cartesian thesis and I disagree on wishing Happy New Year, because the cycle is still the same: people changing for the better of the worse. People taking birth and people dying. People loving and people hating. The same circus of life always going on and on. Yesterday for New Year eve, since we had a very awful New Year eve celebrated as per what I related in my previous blog post, I mentioned to my husband about the hypocrisy behind the New Year wishes. My husband replied me the sentence that could change perhaps a lot of things in the world: “The New Year resolutions are not bad. But it’s us, the humans, who are bad in general, and who make everything to turn the good New Year resolutions into unlimited deceptions and failures”. There again, my husband was right. And here is the extract of that same article, which resumes it all: 

There is, perhaps, a judicious middle position between insisting on the centrality of time and denying its existence. Something can be real—actually existing, not merely illusory—and yet not be fundamental. Scientists used to think that heat, for example, was a fluidlike substance, called “caloric,” that flowed from hot objects to colder ones. These days we know better: Heat is simply the random motions of the atoms and molecules out of which objects are made. Heat is still real, but it’s been explained at a deeper level. It emerges out of a more comprehensive understanding.

Perhaps time is like that. Someday, when the ultimate laws of physics are in our grasp, we may discover that the notion of time isn’t actually essential. Time might instead emerge to play an important role in the macroscopic world of our experience, even if it is nowhere to be found in the final Theory of Everything.

In that case, I would have no trouble saying that time is “real.” I know what it means to grow older or to celebrate an anniversary whether or not time is “fundamental.” And either way, I can still wish people a Happy New Year in good conscience

So before you think about sending your New Year wishes to other people and making some good resolutions for the New Year, think about it several times before planning them, because Happy New Year wishes and resolutions is something really powerful, but which should come from the heart and be sincere. If it’s so, then maybe we can contribute into making the world much better by doing our own part of efforts and being sincere to the ones whom we wish Happy New Year to, and to keep our promises on all the good resolutions we did for the forthcoming New Year.

So on that concluding note, Happy New Year 2017 to you all 🙂

The New Equation: Friends x Enemies = “Frenemies”

I remember that one day, during my college years, I came into a classroom for a next tuition. I was in secondary school, and we never stayed in the same classroom all the time, but always moved in different classrooms for our tuition. After the first morning break, I once moved into a classroom, for which the black board hadn’t yet been cleaned, and on which there was a maths tuition written from another teacher to another class before our arrival.

I wasn’t very strong in mathematics, but I remember a lesson of multiplication that I learnt so many times and that you all may remember well:

  • Plus x Plus = Plus
  • Minus x Minus = Plus
  • Plus x Minus = Minus
  • Minus x Plus = Minus

That teacher who wrote the lesson was reputed to be quite eccentric in his way of teaching maths. But though his teaching may have sound funny on that day, it really represented to me a true source of inspiration regarding my new life experiences as an adult. To help his students better understanding those equations, he used metaphors to symbolize those equations, defining the Plus as Friends, and the Minus as Enemies. Here was then the result of his new equation:

  • Plus x Plus = Minus –> The Friend of my Friend is my Friend
  • Minus x Minus = Plus –> The Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend
  • Plus x Minus = Minus –> The Friend of my Enemy is my Enemy
  • Minus x Plus = Minus –> The Enemy of my Friend is my Enemy.

It’s possible in Mathematics, that’s for sure. But it’s not always possible in real life. It is more complex than that and the life experiences I have been facing personally and which I would like to share with you prove that, as well that equation is perfect in mathematics, as well it’s imperfect in everyday life.

  1. The friend of my friend… may also be my worst enemy.

Incredible but true! That happened to me recently since I had the bad surprise of my life after a terrible incident happened between me and a friend of someone whom I really appreciated and whom I considered as my young brother of heart and young guru at the same time. One of his friends once sent me a friends request from her Facebook account, which accepted. For the four first days following approval of her friend request, we never talked to each other, until she approached me and revealed some surprising information regarding something which happened between her and my friend while he visited her overseas. I was so shocked that I thought that it was a hoax and that she was a mess maker who wanted to create some mess in my friend’s private life. Also, without even thinking about what I was doing, I reacted extremely violently and even insulted her, and I even made of that matter a public matter without my friend’s consent! That incident created some useless tensions among our group of friends and because of that, instead of seeing within me someone who tried to protect her dearest one’s privacy against a troublemaker, everyone turned besides him and all of them blamed me and turned against me, including himself. That girl who approached me said to be a friend of my friend, but not only did she become my enemy after what happened, but she also turned everyone in the group from friends to enemy… Including my friend himself! Today, not only we never reconciled, but we became sworn enemies, and that so-called friends dared even creating tensions in my marriage life by involving my husband in that matter! But my husband was clever enough to understand that this so-called friend of mine was in reality a ravenous wolf and a fake friend who only worried for his ego instead of worrying about other people and he never played my so-called friend’s game.

2. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. It’s possible. As well as it’s possible that my friend’s enemy can be my enemy. As well too that it’s possible that my friend becomes my sworn enemy… and that his or her own sworn enemy becomes my best friend.

Yes it’s possible. And that so-called friend of mine proved it right, since he dared brainwashing me against someone whom he dared calling a “friend” since they know each other on the college benches, but despite all, that so-called friend of mine dared tarnishing that “friend”‘s reputation, since he always mentioned that this “friend” always kept on competing with him all the time in an insane way to impress people instead of inspiring people. Like every blind follower, instead of trying to know more about that competitor, I blindly believed my so-called friend’s purposes and I immediately got disgusted against his competitive “friend” without even knowing him in person. But when my so-called friend and I turned sworn enemies, by myself I tried to know more about his competitor with my own opinion independently from others’ opinions, and what I noticed about his personality completely contrasted with all the lies, fake rumors and intox spread against him, not only by social platforms, but even from the local media. I was especially guilty since I saw a blog post he mentioned about, where he denounced a hater who created such a huge bunch of hatred against him, after he published a book about one of our most popular Political Leaders, and which was the result of such a hard work which made of that book a very popular one. It then reminded about my own fault, when myself I blindly trusted my ex-friend about him, and then I had the proof that my ex-friend got all wrong and that himself blindly followed the intox, rumors and hearsays against his competitor, whereas himself. I felt so guilty that I took the courageous initiative to apologise with the competitor, and a few days after the competitor came to know more about me and then told me frankly how I have been escaping from so far since, further to so many attacks against him, I and all the rest of the band could have been jailed for defamation. That made me guiltier, but at the same time, I think that I have been taught one of the toughest life lessons of my life. Maybe some of you won’t believe me, but I never apologised towards the competitor with a spirit of revenge against my ex-friend for having betrayed me, but I apologised towards the competitor since I came to know the truth about him with my own eyes and through my own researches about him. Words are more than enough to tarnish someone’s reputation and to blacken someone’s name, as well as attitude. But where I am thankful to my ex-friend is that, by wanting to influence me against that competitor, he gifted me a new friend within that competitor.

3. The friend of my enemy isn’t always my enemy… It can also be my friend.

I have experienced it so many times. A couple of years ago, further to some gossips a maid proclaimed between me and a good friend of mine, we turned from good friends to sworn enemies too, and this for years. That tension started also being spread on my husband’s professional situation, since my husband was working with my friend’s husband, who was his boss in the same company. Unfortunately, after we, as their wives, turned from friends to enemies because of that maid, who appeared between us as a ravenous wolf who could never bear seeing two women like us being so close to each other, she had the guts to put a mess between us and she succeeded for a couple of years. That created all a series of tensions between the both of us and those tensions also repercuted between our husbands, and then the friendship was temporarily broken. We had a couple of friends whom we had in common, but since the friendship was broken, our couple of friends were then forced to welcome us to their place separately. With time and space, the couple of friends made a try to make both our husbands having a first contact as a start of reconciliation. My husband didn’t mind talking to his ex-boss, since they were no more colleagues after the company shut its doors, and it seems that his ex-boss even burst in tears after he talked to my husband as someone who had a lot of regrets. Little by little they became closer and my husband’s ex-boss revealed to my husband about some serious issues he faced in his new job and which made that he was jobless. At first, I never accepted their reconciliation and persisted that I would keep my position against the ex-boss’s wife. But through time and space, our common friends made us understanding that the friendship between the two husbands and their common friends would be possible but in secret, since no reconciliation would be possible between the two wives. When I heard about it, then I started feeling guilty and then I took conscience that my friend truly loved me, but that I got foolishly blinded by that maid, who was a complete stranger and who succeeded creating a huge mess between the both of us. Also, I damned that maid in my heart, and I decided to repair my mistake by trying a first contact with my husband’s ex-boss, until I could do the first step with his wife. Little by little, all the dark clouds in our friendship got dissipated and our circle of friends got reunited again.

Another proof on how, from friendship to enmity, it’s possible to change, and this because of a third-party who had nothing to do between two friends and who should have stayed away from us, especially if it’s a total stranger or a maid. But the link with the title “the friend of my enemy can also be my friend” is that, as well our common friends esteemed my husband’s ex-boss and his wife, they estimated my husband and myself in an equal way and remained neutral between the altercation which occurred between us, even though they did their best to create a reconciliation between us through that first contact between our husbands. Another proof that it is possible is that, further to the enmity which took birth between me and that so-called friend of mine I mentioned before, in our circle of friends there was a lady who still esteemed him a lot since she had no personal issues with him, but who at the same time supported me greatly and showed me openly where I was right and where I was wrong, and obviously as well where he was right and where he was wrong, with the difference that, contrary to the common friends my husband, his ex-boss, his wife and I had in common, the lady never created any mediation between me and my ex-friend, but instead supported me, by at the same time showing me the right and the wrong and also sharing her own experiences with me, and thanks to her unconditional support and the support I had with some personal friends of mine, though it was very hard at the beginning, I succeeded into forgiving my ex-friend and to move on. Forgiving him not because I accepted what he did to me, nor because I want to be friends with him again, but simply because I estimate I had been suffering enough because of him and that I didn’t have any more strength nor courage to bear the sorrow he caused to me and the tears of blood he made me shedding for such a long time.

4. Finally, the friend of my enemy can also be… a “frienemy”… An enemy disguised as a friend.

Have you ever heard about the Biblical warning regarding false prophets who appear in front of you sheep-coated, but who are in reality ravenous and deceitful wolves? Have you also heard about the term “sugar-coated” words, but for which the inner taste is extremely bitter? This also applies for a “frienemy”, and God knows how many of them came to me when I had that altercation with my ex-friend… They came to me to have my version of the facts and by pretending to be besides me, but after I gave them my version of the facts, they reported me to my ex-friend, exactly as if they were selling me like a vulgar prostitute! That was exactly what I have been experiencing for so many years, not only through strangers, but even in my own family. Unfortunately, there have always been a lot of tensions between me and my parents, since I had the bad luck being a part of a toxic family, among them a passive and indifferent father, and an extremely authoritatian and narcissic mother, like I demonstrated in several of my writings. Things got worse further to that altercation between my parents and my in-laws several years ago, and what was more deceitful was that, most of my family members knew that my parents were wrong and that my mother was a narcissic person, but instead of supporting me, none of them was interested into having my personal version of the facts, and most of them remained indifferent in front of my sufferings and blindly listened to my mother as if they were listening to the Holy Scriptures! By the same way, a few of my family members pretended to support me by having my own version of the facts, but instead, they misused my purposes against me by repeating everything to my mother, and then I came to know that those relatives of mine acted as spies and were sent by my mother herself! What was most deceitful was that those relatives of mine who betrayed me were the ones I cherished the most in the past, and who didn’t even hesitate to stoop so low and to be so disloyal with me! So many years of so-called loyal relationship suddenly thrown in dustbin, which made of me the new black sheep of the family!

CONCLUSION

As well as mathematics represents an exact science art, it’s not the same thing for the feelings and relationship equations nowadays, in a world made of so much hypocrisy and ego. And “frienemies” are unfortunately not only among the strangers who bark uselessly because they don’t know you, but also among the society that you frequent, and even within your own circle and your own family. Remember when Lord Jesus was betrayed by Juda, one of his apostles, before being sentenced to death in exchange of the thirty pieces of silver. That was exactly how some of my relatives betrayed me because of my narcissistic mother. One of my relatives was offered a golden chain and a pair of ear rings in exchange of revealing all my confidences I did when I was in pain against my parents. One of them reconciled with my mother since she was thankful to my mother for having cherished her when she was still a little girl and since my mother proposed her hospitality during her holidays recently for her younger sister’s marriage. And so many of them are acting like this. Same for my so-called friend, who succeeded into attracting so many people who befriended me against me because of his overseas friend whom I once attacked in the framework of protecting my so-called friend’s privacy, and this by satisfying those people’s personal needs. And that is how “frenemies” appear: Fake friends who won’t hesitate to snatch you in exchange of some favors offered to them by your enemies. And for me, “frenemies” and “enemies” are the same, with the difference that “frenemies” are more difficult to recognize. The other difference as well is that it’s rare that enemies regret their past actions against you, but “frenemies”, when they come to know the truth about you, come to you and then repair their mistakes and apologise, but unfortunately most of the time too late. Finally, true friends are like precious stones but rare, and none of the poisonous gifts given to them by your sworn enemies will affect them, and they won’t even hesitate to throw those gifts in the enemies’ ugly faces as well. In illustration of all what I said, I have a special thought for my national idol and role model, Krishna Athal, who experimented also frenemity because of a certain Paul who didn’t hesitate to spread the mud in his name since his first book was published. But let’s say thank you to that bastard, because by creating such a vague of hatred against Krishna, he didn’t realize that he improved into contributing more into increasing his popularity:

Facebook: Where “Frenemies” come to meet

La Digue, Seychelles: An Experience to Remember

Beach of Anse Source d’Argent, La Digue Island, Seychelles

Some of you who travelled to Seychelles have indeed had the chance to watch on board of aircraft a small video showing us the Seychelles beauty, thanks to its most beautiful beaches, its green environment and life under the sea. But that video, if you remember well, is also a message for tourists to contribute to the preservation of environment in the island because of its fragile ecosystem. La Digue is an example perfectly showing how Seychelles love their country and really care about it. What is especially particular with the inhabitants of La Digue is their simple but clean way of living there.

The new boat in which we embarked from Praslin to La Digue

The tour guide wasn’t sure about it, but maybe the crosses on the rocks near La Digue Harbour

Is a homage to all the people who perished in shipwrecks near La Digue Island

Effectively, before we arrived on the island, we did a few researches about La Digue on Internet. We were astonished that the island only had 2000 inhabitants and that their lifestyle was more traditional than the lifestyle held on the Mahe Island. We also noticed that the main locomotion mode there was bicycles, and that the island had very few vehicles, apart some taxis, touristic cars and jeeps used as family vehicles. Otherwise most people bicycle or walk in general.

View of Sheikh Khalifa from Abu Dhabi’s palace on the Hill

PUC Eoliennes in Victoria, Mahe

A few beautiful sea views on our trip from Mahe Island to Praslin Island

When we arrived on the island, one of the strong points we noticed was the absence of pollution. The roads were clean, and even the few vehicles there didn’t produce any toxic smoke. We didn’t even notice some filling stations where we were bicycling. Also, less noise, less pollution… And more calm spirits within people!

On our way to the beach of Anse Source d’Argent. There were some wild tortoises living on those rocks freely.

We very often talk about the men’s effects on ecosystem, but we tend to forget to ask ourselves: what about the effects of the ecosystem over human nature? We obtained the reply through some inhabitants we questioned, among them a fruit seller, a teenage girl, the boss of the Ports Authority Office who welcomed us at our arrival and did the necessary to make us having a double bicycle (because I don’t know how to bicycle!!!!): All of them were calm, all of them were very nice, always smiling and relaxed. Here is what we have seen through the inhabitants of La Digue.

Let’s start with the guy who welcomed us at the Ports Authority Office, and who prepared for us some tuna sandwiches at our request when we arrived, because we were hungry. Though he was on duty, he found some time to have a good talk with us and behaved like a real gentleman with us. He was making sure, with a lot of patience, that we can have a double bicycle which would allow us visiting the island freely, and his patience brought its fruits.

A local habitation on La Digue Island

A bit further on our road, there was that sweet teenage girl named Emilie, who was snapped together with me, further to approval from her mother when I asked for her permission to snap her house and to make photos with her daughter. Their house was a traditional type of Creole habitation, far from the modern houses built with bricks. We have been snapshot by a nice Gujarati expatriate settled on the island for business purposes and who was as nice as Emilie. This proves again how a safe and sound environment is good for the human being, including the foreign population.

A stop for a fresh homemade juice at a fruit seller’s place

There was the fruit seller, who produced some fresh local fruit juice with fresh fruits that he mixed, while we were having a break before continuing our ride to the beach of Grande Anse. The reply given by Emilie and the fruit seller was the same, when we asked them whether they preferred Mahe or La Digue. Of course, it was La Digue, thanks to its calm and the security there, which differs from the rush of Mahe and the insecurity there caused by drugs, which unfortunately remains a problem against which the Seychelles keep on fighting regularly.

A glimpse on how La Digue people love environment: local artisanal products, riding all around

the island by bicycle so very few automobiles, a glimpse of the road and the beautiful clean beaches,

And the final picture showing me from afar, climbing to a Virgin Mary Grotto encrusted within some volcanic rocks

We also met a lady whom we asked the road to Anse Source d’Argent, one of the most beautiful beaches of the world… But unfortunately, that lady was mute, and it left us surprised! But what touched us was that, despite her muteness, the lady was always smiling and living a normal life courageously. A proof that in La Digue, people love each other in a safe and sound climate and environment.

We also acknowledged a lady, before we left Mahe, who was living next to a natural park where a bird spec called Veuve was living. The bird was named so, because of its black feathers, reminding about the widows of the previous years in Seychelles who used to wear black. For her part, she gave us a brand new version about La Digue: She preferred Mahe, because of the expensive life on La Digue. But she doesn’t seem to realise that the products sold on La Digue are certainly more expensive than on Mahe, because they come by boat and as their price also includes the sea freight. While translating that article in English (as previously I wrote it in French), I remembered a Nepali expatriate who owned the restaurant where we ate our pizza. They were at all only 3 staffs, IE him and two pizzaiolo from respectively Seychelles and India or Nepal. There was no tension between them and they were like a real family and good friends, and what was amazing was that it was one of the best restaurants recommended on Trip Advisor! The pizzeria was located in Gregoire’s at la Digue, and obtained a Certificate of Excellence on Trip Advisor, as per the link I retraced about it:http://TripAdvisor/Restaurant_Review-g477968-d22643…

When we however asked the Nepali boss about La Digue, he also replied that it was too quiet and that it lacked activities contrary to Mahe. A proof that La Digue doesn’t suit to busy people who love being in activity and this is what my husband confirmed while I asked him about living on La Digue. He also maintained that it wasn’t the best place for raising a child, again due to lack of activities, but it was the best way to relax or for living in after retirement.

Humans and Mother Nature: An important and vital connectivity

Some of my Mauritian compatriots shared their views with us after they assisted to a seminary about Eco tourism, which was held in University of Mauritius: “There was a talk and presentation by Mr. Vikash Tatayah, conservation director at MWF. He explained to us that Eco tourism is becoming more and more important in the world and that it’s in the government’s plan. Mauritius is very resourceful. He took one interesting example: He said if you see a pod of dolphins by chance, it’s a good thing. But if you take your boat, diving instruments, many people, this is not Eco tourism. The dolphins get scared and this disturbs their communication. And the reviews about Mauritius is great, be it a 3 4 or 5 star hotel, we offer great service. And people love Mauritius because of its homely environment. Children should be taught about the importance of nature and animals. He noted that children who visit zoos tend to become more curious about animals. And ask more questions. Later on, these children become wildlife conservationists. There are programs to protect the endemic plants and animals such as the kestrel“. There is a part of truth in what Mr. Tatayah said, and the pictures of La Digue perfectly illustrate it, with the population preferring bicycle or walking rather than vehicles. And what is interesting is that the tourists, for most of them, bring a strong contribution, preferring bicycling and footing rather than the comfortable vehicles at disposal of tourists, but which are very expensive!

A compatriot of mine was very often seen pictured with his home pets (rabbits, puppies, kittens, aqua tortoise), and even with some Savannah animals (giraffe, rhinoceros, elephants) and camels during some of his trips to Africa, whereas I have a picture of my young son befriending a small chick belonging to his uncle. Those two pictures show that there is no age to love animals. The compatriot is now a young adult man, and his love for animals is a proof that even when we grow up adults, if since childhood we have been properly trained to love and respect animals, it won’t be difficult for us adults to love them more.

This is why I get angry inside myself each time I hear my surroundings telling me to be careful with my son’s hygiene when he wants to befriend animals… And this since the episode of the snails when he wanted to take care of a snail he retrieved in our house owner’s garden in Seychelles! The fact that my son fell in love with that white little chick is also a proof that, when it comes on animals, children are our best teachers, because through their innocence, children perfectly know how to communicate with animals and better understand them.

As I mentioned too in some comments about that debate, lots of people pay expensive fees to assist to the yearly festival of whales on the island of Ste Marie in Madagascar, using traditional ways of sailing to avoid making the whales running away. Mr. Tatayah was right to blame the use of motor boats, which are a source of danger and disturbance for the dolphins, and which don’t allow them communicating nor understanding between each other properly.

Regarding children who are more curious about knowing about animals, yes it’s true… But even adults are curious too. That compatriot of mine, for example, when he enjoys himself with the Savannah animals while he is on trip to Africa, simply because since childhood he has been correctly trained and encouraged by his elders for cultivating love for animals. Also it proves that there is no miraculous formula, apart comprehension and cooperation of adults towards children.

And imagine the pleasure of playing with dolphins or whales in such occasions? Enigma sang it very well in the 90’s, “Remember the Shaman who said that man was the dream of the dolphin”. Dolphins see in us their dearest dreams and want to become our friends. However in some countries, those same animals are tortured for business! Animals are killed before extraction of their skin and flesh for industrial and commercial reasons, and among them polar animals in North Pole, whales killed in Scandinavia, tortoises or dogs killed for being consumed as food in Asia… Nothing to do with the Savannah animals with which my compatriot was playing in Africa, or the local tortoises conserved on rocks retrieved on the road to Anse Source d’Argent at La Digue.

Another compatriot of mine commented those lines, I quote: “Well, we should in fact lay more emphasis on sustainability as it promotes positive environment ethics, it does not also degrade the resources and therefore benefit the wildlife and environment.” Further to what she said, however, Mr. Tatayah seems to have forgotten a detail: The attitude of the Mauritians and of humans in general over environment. In some regions of the island, we still notice the pitiful attitude of some inhabitants, who despite the increasing number of facilities proposed by the country on recycling, and the numerous campaigns organised in the country for preservation of environment and sanctions taken by government itself. Especially when we notice the drains full of wastes accumulating every day, and which produce dust, infections, bacteria and disease in the neighbourhood regions, and the inhabitants who always keep on giving all wrongs to the Government and to the Ministry of Environment, instead of trying, for each of them, to bring his or her personal contribution into improving the state of the region and organising some cleaning operations in the region. The attitude of the human being is also a source of important contribution into the preservation of a safe and sound environment in the country.

Here in Seychelles, there is the Vallee de Mai in the island of Praslin, known as a natural reserve where it’s agreeable to go for a healthy walk in total contact with Mother Nature, and which sponsors the Aldabra project launched by Minister James Mancham for preservation of the marine tortoise living on that small island from archipelago of Seychelles, which is on its way to disappear due to the increase of waters.

Railway of Konkan, Maharashtra

Green Maharashtra

Narendra Modi also launched a cleaning campaign in India after his nomination, and openly showed himself with a broom in his hand and cleaning the roads. South India followed his campaign successfully and is doing its very best to preserve its environmental cleanliness. But there is still a long way to go in India to have such a spirit about cleanliness… Especially in Mumbai and the pitiful state of the beaches, due to the indifference and passivity of the inhabitants, who unfortunately contributed into making of that beach a public dustbin! Such known towns like Mumbai unfortunately contrast totally with some regions very few known in Maharashtra, where green and cleanliness co-exist such as the beautiful region of Konkan, where one of my sisters of heart comes from, showing us a green, clean and safe environment. Here is an interesting link with lots of details about that beautiful region of Maharashtra to know more about it, and on which I will develop about that beautiful region as soon as possible after I reassemble all my sources all together: http://divcomkonkan.gov.in/asp.net/visitor/history.aspx.

Alison Teal

Finally, another deplorable aspect to take note about: The way people lie about the image of some touristic worldwide regions to attract tourists, whereas those regions present their medal reverse. I once mentioned about the Maldives which have an island where all the wastes coming from other islands of the archipelago are stocked and afterwards abandoned. Some foreign people launched in their way a sensitization campaign regarding that polluted island, at the example of that ex-reality show star Alison Teal like in the pictures shown in the article below: http://www.dirtbagdarling.com/girl-gone-wild-naked-and-afraids-alison-teal/

How I took back the Religion my Father Rejected

My first religious steps and struggles

I am a native from Mauritius, born from an Indo-Mauritian father and an African Creole mother. Religion has always been a huge part of my life since I was born, but it was my mother’s religion which was mostly predominant, whereas it should have been my father’s religion which should have been mine.
Most Hindu families are built under the patriarchal authority, but it had never been the case for my parents, since it was mostly my father who was bending under my mother’s authority.
My mother came from a Roman Catholic family, which made that I also got christened by my half-sister (my father’s first marriage daughter) at the Ste Therese Church in Curepipe, and by my uncle, who is my mother’s elder brother. But though I was regularly assisting the weekly masses, and though I also did my Holy Confession and Holy Communion as a Roman Catholic, I also very often assisted in parallel to the masses from the Anglican Church of St Thomas in Beau Bassin together with my father. However, I didn’t do my confirmation at the age of 10 since during that period, I felt a partial disinterest and demotivation in keeping on following the catechism at school, though I kept on doing it for again 4 years when I started secondary school. But after my last year of catechism, then I stopped practicing and had no more steps to follow within my religious vocation. At a moment, my mother felt I had to follow another step, and then she put me within the Anglican Diocese of Mauritius, as a part of the Parish of St Clement in Curepipe. For four years I was part of the Church and actively participated into some church and diocesan activities, such as being part of the Youth Group, Adults Choir, Youth Choir and responsible of the Anglican Liturgy within the Youth Group as well. Unfortunately, because of my father who always kept on making scandals when I attended my church activities, since he always feared that I would fail in my studies, I couldn’t continue anymore attending the activities, and had to lessen them by force. I also got some conflicts with some of the church members, who disagreed with me on a lot of things while I was trying to give my best during the participation of the church activities. But the straw that broke the camel was especially the lady who was responsible of the Adult Choir of the church who reproached me of being too much absent to the rehearsals, and who scolded me with bold words, saying that if I couldn’t be regular to the rehearsals, then it would be better that I wouldn’t be anymore a part of the Adults Choir. Her words made me the effect of a knife blade in my heart, and not only did I leave the Church forever, but I also left the Anglican Diocese forever, for never coming back again. My father, who forgot that he was the one who discouraged me to follow the church activities, then started blackmailing me for going back to church, until I couldn’t bear it and told him, with eyes full of tears, how the Adults Choir Responsible lady scolded me lastly… But I didn’t have the courage to scold my father for the discouragements I had to bear from him since he forced me to lessen my church activities 😦 But today I am writing that part of my religious journey, a religious journey full of ups and downs during all the time that I was at my parents’ place.
An unexpected upsetting
When I turned 9 years old, another unexpected event came into my life and was also indirectly responsible of my religious instability. One morning, two ladies knocked at my parents’ door. One of them was a French lady with Italian roots, who married a Mauritian person. Both ladies were… Jehovah’s Witnesses! My mother got so deeply influenced by their words, and mostly by the Italian French lady who was a very charming person, that she let them coming in the house. Since that day, lots of mess started getting created in the house. When my grandfather bought that house for my father, who would become the first doctor of the family, that house belonged to a French Mauritian owner before. Though my patriarchal family was mostly Hindu, there was a statue of Virgin Mary in its cave in the garden, face to my bedroom’s window. Since those two Jehovah’s Witnesses came in, they forced my mother to remove that statue, and also all the other religious icons that my mother settled for prayer, including some pictures of Father Laval, a Saint whom all Roman Catholic Mauritians worshipped on his tomb at Ste Croix in the North Part of the country, and a beautiful picture of Merciful Christ, which still appears on my mind very often each time I think about Lord Jesus! Not only were the icons forbidden, but even some events were forbidden as well, such as birthday cakes, Easter eggs, Christmas trees etc! The more my mother was following their rules, the more she imposed them on the whole house instead of keeping it for herself only, and the worse the atmosphere at home became topsy-turvy and unbearable, and worse again since my mother abandoned her Roman Catholic religion and turned as a Jehovah’s Witness at her turn! She even tried to influence my father to follow some Biblical courses with the Italian French lady’s husband as well! But when my half-brother came to know about our father following those courses, he laughed out lord, finding our father really ridiculous, since he knew very well our father would never follow the Jehovah’s Witness rules and remain Anglican, and since he knew that our father wasn’t a regular practising as well. Thanks to him indirectly, my father had to bend and to stop following his religious courses, which he admitted being boring to him, and which he did not for his own faith, but only to please my mother and nothing else.
My young adult years without religion
Because of all that mess caused by my mother’s obsession for the Jehovah’s Witness, and because of an immature mistake I did by asking God to allow some insane things for me, which God refused to give me, instead of recognizing that I did a mistake, I put all the blames on God, which made that I turned away from all religions for a very long period of my life. Then at a moment in year 2002, seeing that I had no religious steps again, my mother, since I refused to be part of the Jehovah’s Witnesses despite her first influences, then chose to put me at Christian Centre, under the supervision of its leaders, a couple of French Mauritians. But the praise and worship didn’t bring into my heart the results I was expecting, and I didn’t succeed into finding the peace of heart and soul that I was looking for. At the same moment, I was very unstable in my life, especially in my sentimental life after so many love deceptions and one-night stands which made me more and more deceived each and every day in my life. The biggest deception was especially my latest ex-boyfriend, whose parents categorically refused that he would marry me in church, elsewhere he would be given damnation by his family! Because of our religious and cultural differences though my ex-boyfriend used to pray at church while studying in Europe, and due to the increasing family pressure he was facing with his parents and sisters as the only son of the family, our relationship drastically splitted after only 6 months and broken promises and left me fully heartbroken for one month, until I met in August 2004, at his younger brother’s marriage, the one who is today my husband and the father of our young and unique son who was born from our union in May 2011.
New religious struggles appeared after marriage
Since I was still Christian before marriage, and under my parents’ influence and authority, I couldn’t follow my husband’s steps and had to stay in my own corner each time he had to go to temple and to pray. When my husband, who was living overseas since a couple of years, came back to Mauritius or went back overseas, there were some rituals which my future in-laws used to do with him and, one afternoon, I was asked to stand besides my future husband to receive the blessings, though I wouldn’t accompany him in the aircraft. But since I was still Christian, I refused to stand besides my husband and frankly said I didn’t have any right to participate in them since I was still Christian. I still remember how everyone was shocked when I mentioned about it, but my sister-in-law said that I have been really courageous to have declined them, since she would never have that courage if she was at my place. During the marriage preparations, I have been also trapped by my parents for the same purposes. There was a time during childhood, where I didn’t mind about wearing a white wedding dress and veil for getting married, since we assisted a lot of Roman Catholic and Anglican weddings for years. But since I witnessed one of my elder cousins’ Hindu Marriage and visioned her wedding ceremony which was filmed by some extended relatives of ours, I was so seduced by the way Hindu weddings were celebrated that I was no more interested into getting married in Church, and I really meant what I was saying. Unfortunately, my mother underestimated me and thought I was telling that only on a whim… and she imposed the celebration of our Christian wedding just after the Hindu wedding ceremony, by inviting only her family and some VIP people whom my father cared about as their personal doctor… And by avoiding inviting my in-laws and my patriarchal family!!! That wickedness from my mother deeply hurt my in-laws, who never expected how my mother could stoop so low, and in such a way that my father-in-law very often menaced to burn our Christian wedding costumes if he had those costumes within his hands! My husband, on that day, was feeling very sad and lonely, and I could feel it, though I tried to distract him with two little nieces of mine who came to us to destress the atmosphere. Despite my mother’s wickedness, my in-laws fortunately didn’t reject me and accepted me as their daughter-in-law, but they permanently lived in the fear that I would influence my husband to turn Christian instead of letting him keeping his Hindu religion, and since they knew how my mother was an excessively authoritarian and exigeant person when it came on my education! that influence continued during the first month of our marriage, though I accompanied my husband in his Hindu prayers, but what disturbed him was when I was doing my Christian prayers, though I had nothing to hide, all this because my husband always had that fear that I would force him to turn Christian, despite having warned me several times and so severely that he categorically refused, since he didn’t want to be rejected by his parents, and since I always respected his decision and kept on fighting against my mother, who kept on influencing me about turning my husband as Christian!
A humiliation which finally forced me to change religion, though no one among my in-laws forced me to do it, and though despite being forced, I had that will to change religion
One month after our marriage, my husband’s colleague from Mauritius came to our place for dinner. When my husband showed him the pictures of our wedding, I saw him hiding the ones of our Christian marriage! His colleague didn’t say anything, but I could feel through his facial expression that he wasn’t indifferent to that secret from my husband. For my part, though I tried to be polite during the whole dinner, I was pricked and felt deeply humiliated. When I asked my husband why he did such a thing and how he could be ashamed about my religion, he said that he hesitated to show our Christian marriage pictures to his colleague since he feared his colleague, who is a Marathi, wouldn’t appreciate it! We kept on fighting for long hours before falling asleep and I cried a lot because of the humiliation I felt towards my religion and the way my husband indirectly insulted my religion… Until at a moment, I felt that I had no other option, than converting into Hinduism and giving away my Christianity. My husband feared that I was taking that decision on a whim, but after a long battle, he was convinced that I was sincere and he had eyes full of tears of joy, but mostly of relief since I took his religion instead of keeping mine, mostly because of the fear of being forced by me and my mother about converting into Christianity. His parents and relatives were so happy and relieved that they congratulated me and respected me more. Even in my family, everyone appreciated my decision, including those of my matriarchal family. Only my mother was against that sudden change of decision, seeing all her hopes of influencing my husband to be by her side eloping away, which made that she desperately tempted everything to make me changing my mind and making me believing I was wrong in my decisions… But in vain! Since that day, she still tries to influence me, but all her temptations ended with total failure all the time and I remained within my Hindu faith.
At some moments though, I was so desperate that in a moment of despair, I wrote a letter to the Lord Jesus to justify my choice, but in that letter, though I expressed a desire coming from the heart, I wrote that I took that decision mostly as a sacrifice for my husband but not of my own will, because I was too scared to hurt the Lord, who had been standing besides me through thick and thin all the time, including during all my moments of religious instability.
I am still practising my Hindu faith together with my husband and removed bovine and porcine within my food habits as well. But what changed though is that I restarted in parallel practising again my Roman Catholic religion by worshipping Virgin Mary, Lord Jesus and some Catholic Saints, and this with total authorisation from my husband and without having to make accounts to my in-laws, since I had to create some boundaries around my spiritual life to have a part of privacy for myself, as long as I have permission from my husband and as long as by my side, I respect my husband’s own religious beliefs.
Conclusion: The genesis behind that religious instability comes from my father
As we say, there is no smoke without fire, and that religious instability, before influencing me, started with my father at first. My father was raised into a purely Hindu family. But when my father was settled in Kerala, where he met his first wife, he was looking for a Hindu temple there to pray, but found only an Anglican Church there. Also, he went to pray there and felt good afterwards. That was the very first step which encouraged him to convert into Anglicanism, at the big scandal of my patriarchal family! By the same way, when his children were born, they followed Anglicanism as well and then turned Roman Catholic since my father started dating my mother after his divorce with his first wife. But despite being Christened, my father had to bend under some Hindu rituals which should have been performed for all his children, as per the conditions imposed by his family. Unfortunately he never performed them since he never believed in them, which caused a lot of problems in my siblings’ lives and even in mine, with the loss of my godmother, my half-brother who turned atheist and my religious instability, which ended difficultly, but with certitude, since I got married. When I analyse the situation in all its totality, it was as if I was retaking my father’s native religion and beliefs after marriage and that I was doing the inverse spiritual journey my father did before. By such a sacrifice, though it was very hard, I not only had learnt a lot of things I ignored, but my life changed drastically and I have the feeling that I succeeded into at the same time setting my in-laws free from all fears they had about my husband’s faith, and at the same time warding off the bad luck which took birth from all that religious instability among my parents and my patriarchal half-siblings.